Loose connections


Cheap wine hangover + early wake up + lots of coffee + delivering mail all day =

I went to the river once on a Monday. Across the river, along the opposite bank, a lemon tree was growing all alone. “You see that lemon tree sitting there all by itself? What the hell is that doing there?” I said. As if the only place a lemon tree belongs is in a field alongside other lemon trees being tended by farmers or something. That is the only place I’ve ever seen them I suppose, or in someone’s yard I guess. It makes me think of how rare it is to see a fruit or vegetable, that is usually farmed, actually in the wild. What’s up with that? You never trip over a melon as you walk down a hiking trail… “What the hell happened to you?” “Oh man, this cantaloupe just came out of nowhere and I just went down like a ton of bricks.” When you hear of how sad everyone is (rightfully so) because there’s only like 8 bengal tigers left in the world (exaggeration) and they are almost all in captivity you say “Aawww, that sucks. There’s only a few tigers left in the wild and pretty soon the only place they’ll be is in a zoo somewhere. How messed up is that?” Well, where the hell have all the wild zucchini’s gone? When was the last time you got caught up in a tangled mess of green beans out on a nature walk?

Generally speaking, as the saying goes, it probably is true that the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Unfortunately, those words are usually uttered about 2 milliseconds before a warhead is delivered to some poor sap’s kitchen table via the new hole in his roof. What roof? If you truly believe that it is the responsibility of the strong to protect the weak then the first thing you should probably do is look at yourself and figure out which category you fall under, and then go from there. If you manage to come to a firm conclusion on that one, let me know how you did it.

Don’t get too distraught during those moments when you realize that you don’t have absolute control over every single facet of your life. If you did you’d probably screw it up. Even the oldest of trees is swayed by the gentlest breeze.

Don’t be afraid to allow someone you love to change who you are. Beware if someone you love tells you who you are, or who you should be. Know the difference.

Generally speaking, just about every belief system involves taking some kind of leap of faith, in one form or another. The greater the leap for one person, the more they try to recruit other people to do it with them. It is the greatness of the leap itself that proves the strength of their faith. It’s all circular. You cannot argue with faith, it is a trump card against any and all questions, so don’t bother trying.

Raising a kid is the easiest thing in the world to do. Raising a kid is the hardest thing in the world to do. ‘Nuff said.

Bumper stickers are actually a very funny concept when you think about it. If you have a very strong opinion about something it is not enough to just say it yourself, you want your car to tell the world for you too. I especially love the counter-culture enthusiasts. You know the ones I’m talking about, where the whole back window is covered with them. They usually consist of catchy anti-establishment slogans and cutting social commentary, proving what individuals they are, in case you never get the chance to speak with them face to face. They really just gotta tell you what’s going on. I’m going to make a bumper sticker that says “Don’t Label Me!” so people can plaster it on their rebellious bumpers.

I don’t subscribe to your religion, but you do give me free issues from time to time. I try to recycle as much as I can.

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